Grammy-winning producer Benny Blanco has offered a disarmingly straightforward explanation for how he won over Selena Gomez, telling NBC's Today show that his approach required no elaborate strategy or romantic trickery. "I didn't use, like, black magic or anything," Blanco said during his September 13 appearance. "I just was nice" .
The 38-year-old music producer, who married Gomez in September 2025 in Santa Barbara, California, expanded on that philosophy by describing the foundation of their relationship. "It's like understanding your partner and being able to talk about things, and have an open dialogue," he said. "Yeah, we're in a really good spot, and I'm very fortunate. And I think, again, not being a dick and being nice to people put her in my orbit" .
That simple formula appears to trace back to work Blanco did with his therapist before meeting Gomez. During an earlier appearance on The Mel Robbins Podcast, he recounted creating a list of qualities he hoped to find in a future wife. "The first thing on my list was age-appropriate," Blanco said. "Then the second thing on my list was, someone who's nice. Nice, caring, compassionate, like someone who's a nice person." His third requirement was someone who "woke up generally happy" .
Blanco and Gomez began dating in 2023 and got engaged in December 2024. Their wedding, held in September 2025, reflected the couple's preference for warmth over formality. Blanco said Gomez wanted Persian rugs instead of a traditional aisle and specifically asked that the celebration not feel "bougie." He described the result as "incredible" and evident of significant effort, yet "didn't feel stuffy" .
The producer's candid remarks came just days before Gomez walked the Emmy red carpet solo at the 78th Primetime Emmy Awards on September 14, where she was nominated as an executive producer on Only Murders in the Building. Blanco's absence from the carpet fueled some speculation, though the couple has not addressed it publicly .
Why this matters
Blanco's comments offer a rare glimpse into a high-profile celebrity relationship that has unfolded largely on the couple's own terms. In an era when celebrity romances are often scrutinized through the lens of PR strategy and social media branding, Blanco's emphasis on basic kindness and communication stands out as refreshingly unglamorous. The couple's decision to marry in Santa Barbara rather than at a splashier international venue, and their rejection of a "stuffy" aesthetic, aligns with a broader trend among younger Hollywood couples who prioritize authenticity over spectacle. For U.S. audiences, the interview also underscores how therapy and self-reflection have become normalized parts of modern relationship-building, even in the entertainment industry's most visible circles .
As Gomez continues her Emmy run and Blanco promotes his work, the pair's willingness to speak openly about their partnership—without oversharing—has made them one of Hollywood's more quietly compelling couples. The "secret," it turns out, was never much of a secret at all .
